I’ve just turned thirty, and I’m given a book on personal well-being. When I received it, I was a little surprised, but mostly perplexed. Why buy me such a book? Then, as I flip through it, I feel I’m being talked to as if I’m a less-than-nothing. Then I ask myself, how much a fortune does one make by telling depressed people exactly what they believe about themselves: they are nothing more than a grain of sand, as insignificant as it is of value only when there is enough of them around it to make a beach on which I can lay down. What could be further from the truth?

In this article, we will talk about invalidation: especially that of the wellness industry, which includes psychologists, pop-psychology and, all too often, our loved ones themselves. Where does it come from? Of course, our cultures have taken from Christianity and Islam and it’s their patterns as well as their traditions that made us. However, it has turned into a cult all over the world. It seems like it’s the same everywhere, and I’ll try to show how it is a cult that can be called satanic.

Let’s start with the fact

Here’s the blunt and unambiguous truth: we are, at all times, in all places, each of us, as many as we are, the litteral center of the Universe. If you understand what this means and what it implies, then you don’t need self-help books. You start your life knowing it: but you’ve forgotten. “It’d be by a little bit that thy hast snuff’d… see that thy recallst”(Qur’an 7:3) That’d little bit is you, baby.

The Wellness Industry

Therapists, wellness guides, their books and lectures, psychologists, psychiatrists… All who make their living telling others, always in a roundabout way, that they are worth less than the center of the Universe. After all, it’s the premise: Why would anyone go to this section of the bookstore, or to a specialist, when it’s meant for those who don’t think well enough of themselves and suffer from it? It’s because we think we must be invalidated.

I did not hide from the person who gave me that book “to achieve well-being” that this gift was not well received. Just offering it signals to me that the person thinks I should change. As if I wasn’t, like everyone else, already perfect. I tried to reassure this person, that I’m doing just fine, but she wouldn’t process this information: we expect happy people to act a certain way. Like to go out, to meet friends, have a good job, etc. Well, that’s a version of happiness. Better to find one’s own version.

What happens when you read these books?

In what seems to be a dialogue between reader and author, it must be remembered that it is always the reader who finds himself in front of himself when reading a book. The author is imaginary for the reader: no matter what is written, the reader imagines the tone, the double-entendres, the intentions, etc. The death of the author is a concept by Roland Barthes who says word-for-word that the meaning of a text is not that of the author’s intent: it is the reader who makes its meaning. Of course, the content of the book has its effect on the reader, but since two people interpret the same content differently, it is fair to say that the one who reads, reads in its own sounding board.

So, what happens when someone who is suffering psychologically picks up a self-“help” book? Well, he confirms his worldview in which he is the problem. The author adds to this by confirming in the content that the reader is not that important, that the world is worth turning one’s back on his inner life, because in any case we suffer too much from it, and that there is no one else to blame but ourselves for our sorrowful lives. They will say that it is only a matter of will and that we must decide to change our lives.

This is false, of course: we have a choice to make, but it is not a choice to change into someone new.

What happens in front of a therapist?

The same person who has read all these books may find themself in front of a psychologist. The mere presence of an individual in front of the therapist tells that something is wrong with the individual. The therapist is then looking for a problem: he has a degree and thus studied all the problems someone could have, so he will find a problem. The therapist being the authority in the relationship, the Pygmalion effect reinforces the attitude of the patient, who then internalizes that there is a problem within him.

When I found myself in these situations, I acted sorry for myself more than usual, blamed myself for situations beyond my control for which I imagined myself to be responsible and therefore the therapist too because it’s what I told her. Even if it’s not my responsibility, the fact that I took responsibility was doing her job for her. I believed I could control the love of others and I feared that I would end up alone: the therapist validated that I had to work on myself (as if I could control the love of others by being better) so as not to end up alone. Today, I am alone and I survived abandonment. I would have preferred the therapist to tell me: “It’s okay that you end up alone, you can’t control the love of others.”

So of course, it should also be noted that in front of the therapist, the world is beyond any reproach. It’s not in his field, and since the situation informs that we have to work on the client, they say something along the lines of “we can’t do anything about the world (or this other person), let’s work on what we can change, and let’s talk about you”. The truth is, the world is less than imperfect. If we can’t do anything to change the world, it’s not our fault, it’s the fault of others: few are willing to let us change the world.

As centers of the Universe, we have privileges, one of which is the shifting of blame from us to the imperfect world in which we are forced to dwell even when we are maculate with perfection. After all, without the Universe, we couldn’t be the center of it. The world needs to be improved, but you don’t.

The love we get

I’ve met tons who didn’t think much of themselves and projected it onto everyone around them. Often, these people look like they feel good about themselves, they’re confident, and they seem to value themselves, however, they do not hesitate to put others down. But where does this attitude of reducing one another come from?

The person who gave me the self-invalidation book thought she was doing the right thing, a gesture of love. There is no doubt that she is someone who has suffered a great deal herself, and who, in these books confirming her vision of the world, she has found comfort. Validating self-invalidation is, in a way, a form of validation, though one which comforts instead of healing. A friend whom I thought was a “good” friend, comforted me in my sorrows, but did not hesitate to belittle me with gratuitous comments in front of others… And I thought I was really loved. As with reading self-“help”, advice is given to keep a wound open so that one buys the next book.

Obviously, we have not learned to love as we should: first, we always treat others as we treat ourselves. Jesus’ golden rule “do unto others as you would have done onto you” is not a prescription, it is a description. That’s how we’re programmed. Whether we like it or not, we identify with others: we all share the same identity in any single mind. And we give to others, what we would like to receive ourselves in such a situation.

For example, someone who makes derogatory and harsh comments about others has, in his inner dialogue, the same tendency towards himself. Similarly, a narcissistic person treats themselves as they treat others. It’s not their person that they love, but the person they would like to be and that they play as if on a stage. They look after the interests of this character, but they do not love themself and the narcissists gives all their love to a fabrication they play. The proof: they needs others, they need to know that they are making them miserable, because they knows that they are making themselves miserable and wants to make sure that they treat others in the right way… that is, the same way they treat themselves.

That’s why we’re in a world so invalidating : most people don’t love themselves as they should. Society resembles a rat race towards self-hatred. And the higher up you go, the more intense it becomes. Let’s look at politicians, for example, we are only waiting for the appearance of contradiction in their words or actions to pounce and invalidate them: the leaders of nations, CEOs, and other individuals in the public eye are simply the ones who have ended up fueled by invalidation, they went to the dark side. That’s still not how they are deep down. Proof: they have to be careful about everything they say, that is to say, they’re not to say what comes naturally. They have to invalidate themselves constantly in order to say what they know is inauthentic.

Ordinary Parenthood: The Formation of a Citizen

Too often I have seen parents insist that the child finish his plate in order to please the parent, while the parent does not try to please the child when he forces him to do what he does not want to do “so that he grows up and becomes strong like his father”. The parent prefers emotional blackmail in order to feel that he or she has “done his or her job as a parent well” rather than simply to see that the child has finished eating. If the baby doesn’t open his mouth anymore, it’s because he’s reached satiety: don’t force the spoon in his mouth. It was the parent who hadn’t finished feeding him… The child learns that the parent’s priority is more important than his or her own.

When he is asked “what are you going to do when you grow up?” he is told that he will not be able to play for the rest of his life and that who he is right now is not enough. He must change himself into a worker. He believes everything the parents say because he believes everything he says himself: he believes everything until he has learned to lie from his parents. Tooth-Fairy and Santa-Claus are only lies hiding the fact that the gifts are by the parents. Parents teach children not only to lie, but to give credit to someone else for their own good deeds.

Too many parents go so far as to confiscate objects that they have given to the child to teach him that if he doesn’t please (the parent, the authority, etc), he will be deprived of what belongs to him. Parents take advantage of children’s ignorance by not telling them what they are really doing when they tax their belongings or prevent them from leaving their room. It shouldn’t be a struggle to raise a child, but the world is so twisted that raising a child nowadays means putting them down until they are considered a grown adult.

Parental love is what becomes in the child, self-hatred. When we say “he who loves well, chastises well”, we are quoting Sacred Texts that apply only to God Himself (and it would be better if He stopped). All the effort we put into molding our children to the demands of the world (a world that we create by saying “tough love”) would be better spent if parents fought to shape the world instead.

School, too, is an institutionalization, on the Fordian model, of self-hatred. How many grades below 100% do you get in a lifetime? In school, we learn that self-hatred is ordinary, we see it as “normal”. We learn that “no one is perfect” when it’s the opposite. We are called upon, and not for the last time in our lives, to prove ourselves to someone who has not prove themselves to us, as if we owe it to him and as if it not just a game for fun.

Original Parenting: Giving the World as a Gift

How is it that a parent has a child when he or she does not have the means, through his or her income alone, to support them all their life? It is not a favor to bring him into the world expecting him to take on responsibilities that he would not have asked for, by making him believe that this is the way the world is, as if we didn’t make the world ourselves.

The world is not given to children as a gift: it’s the children that are given to the world as a gift .

For my part, I would never have a child if it is to make him an adult, because that is already bringing him into the world so that he becomes something other than who he is. If I can’t afford to keep one as a child for life, I won’t have children. Because: I don’t need him, and a child doesn’t need to come into the world. It would be to traumatize a soul unnecessarily, just to sustain a world of people hating themselves.

The appropriate mode of parenthood is that of the Bible before God forbade anything: he welcomes Adam into His garden, offers it to him as an all-you-can-eat buffet and without a responsibility other than to take care of a nature that takes care of itself. God forbidding the fruit is the original sin[1] and the parents follow his pattern by hiding from the children the knowledge that would make them their equals.

No, you don’t have the right to bully your child or emotionally blackmail them or yell at them until they do whatever you want. You don’t have the right to sequestrate them either. If you want to protect them, start by, you the “adult” organizing yourself with the other “adults” so that you are the last generation of “adults”. If you’re worried that we’re running out of workers, well, there’s an almost infinite source of work that can be done by artificial intelligence. The rest could be organized as a game that a child would like to play and not an obligatory job.

The “adults” form a cult that proceeds in the same way as pedophiles where a child is initiated into “adult games”, by grooming, and will himself initiate others later in life. Pedophobia is only the flipside of pedophilia: if parents hate pedophiles so much, it’s because they are competitors. Both seek to make the child something other than what he or she is by using desensitization and emotional blackmail, but the pedophobe does not have to hide. Just because everyone has been doing it for ages doesn’t mean we’ve always done it this way[2] or that it’s the best of all possible worlds.

Why do you hate yourself?

Because you’ve been razed.

You hate yourself because you do not live in your normal state and to keep you in that state, there are some whose job it is to invalidate you whether it’s in self-help books, in advertisements or on the radio, on TV, etc.  And even at work: that’s why there’s a boss.

The world is not what you went toward, you were pushed into it and what you discovered is still more pushing towards what you don’t like and what you don’t want. You’ve learned to choose the least of evils because there’s nothing really good: that’s how we choose our field of study, our jobs, and even our life partners. The best psychologists will ask you to find your inner child: that’s only part of the answer. The other part is that you have to keep him once you find him. If that’s not possible, it’s because you’ve locked yourself into the adult world. This world is twisted, as is the world of all cults that worship self-hatred.

For my part, I no longer let others put a world at the center of the Universe because I have understood that it is my place. I would never be satisfied as long as I’m made to sustain the world as it is. It was supposed to be my sandbox. I was promised the world and the life of my dreams. If I’m forced to play in a sandbox that’s not mine, or yours, or anyone I can look at, and the rules popped magically out somewhere and we can’t change them, then I go back to my sandbox. What I’m doing in there is magic to change your rules.

How to feel better?

Get out of the sect and join the new Religion, you will be much better. These books on well-being are sectarian texts on self-hate, the psychologists and psychiatrists have become the Pharisees of the sect. As does Jesus, I call invalidators satanists. This is a cult of Satan. Start by giving them credit if there’s good information to take for yourself, but as soon as its invalidating to you, throw it away.

For example: “what you think is related to a neural circuit, the more you think about it, the stronger that circuit becomes”. This is information that you can use for yourself as to reprogram your own mind and go from self-hatred and a constant feeling that yourself and others are inadequate, to accepting yourself and finding inadequacy in relationships rather than people.

Another example: “to achieve the success of your dream, you could decide today to change your life because you are the one who is putting obstacles in your way”. This is a pure invalidation, and it is absolutely false. If you don’t already have the success you dream of, it’s because it is not being given to you. Promotions? It’s the boss who gives them and doesn’t give them to you. Fame? It’s the industry moguls who decide who gets famous, and they didn’t choose you. No matter how hard you work, a Pharisee or a Roman consul will decide your success. So better let it go, success will come to you without looking for it. In the meantime, do what’s best for you and do what you love to do.

Unplug.

Be a baby.

Choose to become a child again. It’s the only real choice that’s up to you. And if you’ve already given birth to a child, well, you can abandon them. It’s a choice you have: at least you won’t be the one who invalidates and initiates him into the greatest cult history has ever known. And if it’s too hard to part with him because you love him, fight the world instead of fighting your own child Don’t be grooming him until he does “grown-up” things he wouldn’t have wanted to do otherwise.

” It is not right to take the children’s bread and mthrow it to the dogs.” Matthew 15:26

You leave your dog as a child all his life, but not your own child? If you love your child, remember that you should love yourself just as much, and that
when you punish him, you teach him that this is love,
when you want him to leave the nest, you teach him that this is love,
when you reproach him for not being the way you want him to be, you teach him that this is love, 
and when you don’t love him, you teach him that’s what love is all about.
And if you couldn’t stand having your child at home for the rest of your life, it’s because you don’t approach parenthood as you should: you made it a war against your child and it is unbearable to see as our duty the invalidation of those we love.
Don’t chase out of your life those you love: you did it to yourself when you ceased to be the center of the Universe and, of course,
they won’t call you often.

[1] An article on the famous original sin is planned. I intend to demonstrate that it is a great misunderstanding between God and Man and it is God who’s at fault

[2] The Garden, a metaphor for nomadic life, where food was plentiful did not need adults. And if there is a ritual of “passage to adulthood,” that’s just how it was named because that’s the frame of reference from which it was studied anthropologically: they saw what they are conditioned to see, because they couldn’t imagine a society without adults. Whereas reading a child’s “first hunt” as initiation into adulthood, and not simply being taught a more complicated and dangerous game, is revision in the name of ideology.