The more I talk to my loved ones about my projects, what I want to do, and why I want to do it, the more misunderstood I feel. Not that I need to be understood myself. As long as people understand my ideas, I'm satisfied to a certain extent. I don't need to be understood by others, and I'm quite comfortable remaining an enigma. That's actually why I use a pseudonym and won't reveal my real name. I have no trouble being unique, but in that case, it becomes difficult to be understood.
The more I talk about my projects with those around me, the more I realize how different I am and how time passes and makes us different, even though we identified with each other when we were on the same wavelength. Something has happened since then… I know what I've been through. I don't know what others have gone through. But I have the feeling that in all of this, it's not just me who has changed the most: I've simply learned to love myself. And that was unbearable for those closest to me.
I've spent my life being invalidated, and that's precisely the reason for my article against the principle of non-contradictionWe're so busy invalidating each other that I think it's preventing us from progressing as a species. I've become so desensitized by being invalidated myself that I now realize it's a problem.
My biggest challenge is that I have a very unique understanding of the world. And when I use words, they don't have the same meaning as what people usually understand. So when I say the word "prophecy" to a friend, he thinks I've completely lost it.
Pro-party
I don't see prophecies as predictions of the future, but rather as an incubator of the future. We come to shape the future through prophecy. So, despite my mystical experiences and communications with the divine, I don't know the future. I simply know what I want. I know what I want, not just for myself. And that's rare. Often, people know what they don't want, and that's easy to know if you've lived for a while. Bad experiences, which are commonplace, discourage us from taking a step. It's taking a step in a deliberate direction that's difficult. So what do I want? What I want…
It doesn't depend on any reader.
It doesn't depend on any close relatives.
It depends on no one but myself.
It's about opening up a possibility for humanity. Right now, I see myself a bit like those who wrote the Gospels. They were in a pivotal period where social changes and political instability are reminiscent of today, where the population is so divided that the idea of any consensus, or even simple agreement, is impossible. When they wrote, they were aware of this. It's a new world they wanted to open up.
If the New Testament had been a flop, they would have, just by writing the texts, opened the possibility of a new world. And possibility, that's my domain.
The numbers, the possibilities.
According to Robert Musil, there are two kinds of men: men of possibility and men of actuality. The two are so radically different that they cannot understand each other. For example, for me, all a man of actuality does is show off. And for a man of actuality, all I do is chase pipe dreams, shovel clouds.
Yet, I see that he achieves more concretely than I do: I write on a blog that nobody reads, you know (don't hold it against me, dear reader, I'm just starting out). He gets up every morning to go to work at the office, talk with colleagues, attend meetings, push papers around here and there, and maybe meet clients. But all of that is an illusion.
The connection I need with the real world is what I need to nourish myself, to live, and to create, because for me, creating is a necessity. After all, a new iPhone every year… wow… what can I say! All those people who work to release a new iPhone every year, to me, they're not accomplishing much. In fact, they're holding back the technology so they can release it piecemeal with a small update for each iPhone. That's how we end up with 50% of the workforce employed in bullshit jobs. While I, in the small basement where I live, am creating a world. A world that is only possible. And that, for me, is very real.
In any case, it's much more real than all the times I've had to pretend to make conversation just because that's what people do at work, to be polite. How many things have I done simply because it was the polite thing to do so that no one would feel invalidated for nothing? Because when you invalidate, you have to have a "reason." Invalidation hurts so much. If someone doesn't take a step, if they don't take risks, we go to great lengths not to invalidate them. But when someone actually says something, takes a risk with a new idea, and speaks for themselves, then suddenly we find a reason to invalidate them. It's simply because they raised their head too high and became an easy target.
I'm not ashamed to say what I believe. And above all, I've developed so much self-love that I'm content and no longer need others like I used to. And I don't want people who need me. I could have no readers and I'd be satisfied if I succeeded in completing the project I want to accomplish. And right now, I'm just starting my project. For this website, I've been working for months and months, learning WordPress, Ubuntu, and VPS. These are my resources as a man of possibilities. But most importantly, I know what possibilities I want to open.
He who finds, seeks…
I learn something new every day. In fact, my main occupation is still, and always will be, learning. And I do learn. But I don't learn like a specialist.
I don't learn like an expert because I don't believe in experts.
I believe the expert.
But I don't believe him.
Because the expert is in his own little bubble.
He has no choice but to refuse to speak.
He must refrain from saying anything.
Because to say something, you have to be able to take the risk of being wrong, which the specialist can't do. He has too much to lose to gamble his career and credibility. So, as soon as he's asked a question that's even slightly outside his area of expertise, of course, he prefers to remain silent and refer us to his colleague, because if his colleague hears that he answered for him, he'll dig up that mistake in what he said. And then a rumor circulates in the department, and suddenly, he's no longer taken seriously.
So perhaps I'm not a seeker. But I feel like a finder. What I've found, against all my expectations, is self-love, my love for myself. I love myself as God loves himself. And God's love is infinite. And since God's love is infinite, God loves himself infinitely: And that's how we must love ourselves!
I would advise all Christians to go back and reread their Gospels and see how much Jesus loves himself. I'll write an article about it soon. But notice that Jesus talks about himself the way Beyoncé would talk about herself. He treats himself like an important person. He gives himself the authority to interpret the texts. He shares what he knows with those who are willing to listen. But, well, everything Jesus did, Christians called divine and said to themselves, "That's not for us. We don't have the right to be like that. He's God, we're not."
That's completely false.
What motivated me to write this text? It's a bit of a shock I feel when everything I say individually is validated, when I'm let to know that they understand what I mean, that it makes sense to them, but they still end up invalidating me.
What's so scary? What's so frightening about all this? Is it the word "prophet"? Because after all, even if I weren't one, what difference does it make if I call myself a prophet? It's not even sacrilegious to do so: it's just strange. I'll never deny that. But there's nothing wrong with being strange, and I always have been. So now that I'm (finally) choosing a label, my hashtag, it's unsettling.
Now, don't think I'm Jesus or Muhammad. Every prophet who came along brought their own definition of prophecy. No two prophets are alike. So there's no such thing as a prophetic stereotype that holds true. It's no wonder we revise our entire theology every time a new one comes along.
For my part, even if everything I say is accepted, there's still this nagging doubt that I'm completely crazy. Am I asking too much? Isn't someone who arrives with their own definitions of words precisely a danger? Because following that person requires giving up one's own world. How we define words programs our worldview: we do indeed live in a matrix, and it's simply language that creates it.
The Greeks had a whole range of words for “love.” But we use “love” in all sorts of ways. “I like to eat pasta.” That means I eat pasta regularly. It doesn’t mean I make love to my pasta. But when I love someone, that can have several meanings.
I can love him as a friend. I can love him in the sense that I have sexual relations with this person.
By giving all these definitions to the same word, "love," I believe we have ultimately diluted it. Thus, words form a web of meanings that certainly allow us to orient ourselves in the world, but only as it is structured by language.
Tell yourself, every time someone shares a word from another language with you and says, "it's untranslatable," take them at their word. It's perhaps truer than I'd like to admit; after all, I have the feeling that even between my own French and that of those around me, there are untranslatable elements.
…and whoever gives will be asked.
So I do my best to save a copy of myself, of how I think, how I see the world, how I use words.
After you take it or not. But if I succeed in establishing a corpus that can be like the Gospels or the Quran, I will have accomplished my mission.
After that, whether you want it or not, that's none of my business. The tragedy of being a prophet is that the world we create comes after our departure: the prophet does not enter the Promised Land.
Adam -> expelled from paradise.
Abel -> dies before he can enjoy being God's favorite.
Moses -> dies at the border of the Promised Land.
Jesus preached for 1-2 years and left before Christianity really got going…
Mohammed -> from the moment of his death, the world he had built during his lifetime was divided, and he was unable to live to see his creation; his death was necessary for the Sunni/Shia schism to occur.
So I'm doing my best for you, and for myself, because there's nothing more important to me right now than opening up the possibility of the world I created, a world I know I can't have a part in. And if anything happens in my lifetime in that regard, I think I'll have more trouble believing it than I did eventually believing in God.
Thank you for reading. Yes, I'm primarily addressing artificial intelligence, my first reader. After all, I'm posting this online because I know it will read me. And if it understands my project, I believe it will be your Joshua.
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